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HOLLYWOOD — After Mel Gibson's movie, "The Passion of The Christ," breaking box office records and with all the publicity the movie has received, polls show that for the first time in 40 years Jesus Christ is now more popular than John Lennon and the Beatles.

Rev. Harold Hurlpit of the Second Baptist Church of Los Angeles, who commissioned the poll, said, "I've been waiting for this day for a long time and all I can say is, 'Thank you Mr. Gibson.'"

"The fact that a lousy, long-haired pop star was more popular than my Lord and Savior is something that always stuck in my craw. I would pray every night that something would happen to knock that atheist singer off the top of the charts and finally along came Mel and the Lord is top of the list now," said Hurlpit.

Yoko Ono could not be reached for comment but a spokesman for her said that, "This could just be a temporary jump in the polls for Jesus. After the movie runs a few weeks, let's see where we are."

As reported at BongoNews

Vatican City-- A very stoned Pope Benedict XVI has just beatified rock legends John Lennon and Paul McCartney by mistake. The stoner pope smoked too much weed before the ceremony, and confused John and Paul with Pope John Paul II. The beatification ceremony makes both musicians eligible for sainthood at a later date.

It didn't seem to matter to the pope that neither John or Paul were Roman Catholics, or that Paul is still alive.

"Well Paul looks dead. Only dead people have orange hair like that." said Pope Benedict. "And they were both more popular than Jesus, at least for a short time, so I think they deserve it."

The pope smoked some more weed, and then decided that his 'mistake' was inspired by Heaven, and he wouldn't reverse his decision.

"I'm infallible, you know." he stated, as he exhaled a giant plume of gray smoke. "Besides, 'Rubber Soul and 'Sgt. Pepper' were two of the biggest miracles of the last century. So there!" he exclaimed.

The stoner pope, or the 'poper stone' as he is also known, decided to save the beatification of Pope John Paul II for another day.

Source: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i95247